Did You Know… These Two Things Can Save Your Relationship?

Sue Diamond
3 min readJul 24, 2023

There’s a lot of talk over the Internet about how to save a relationship that’s on the rocks. However, a study states that struggling couples need only two things: kindness and generosity.

The Gottman Institute in Seattle identified these key factors after studying the vital signs of couples who were asked about their relationship’s health twice — once six years ago, and again more recently. Dr. John Gottman, co-founder of the Gottman Institute and renowned marriage expert, tells reporters:

“There’s a habit of mind that the “Masters” have, which is this: they are scanning the social environment for things they can appreciate and say thank you for. They are building this culture of respect and appreciation very purposefully. “Disasters” are those who are scanning the social environment for their partners’ mistakes.”

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, to be “kind” is to show “a friendly, generous, and considerate nature.” Meanwhile, to be “generous” is to be prepared to “give more of something” than expected.

Saving a Relationship

One of the most common causes for relationships to end is the loss of intimacy. Intimacy is developed and sustained through the ongoing acts of kindness and generosity that partners express to one another. If your relationship is lacking intimacy, the good news is that many couples have managed to save their relationship through couple’s counselling. There may, after all, be plenty of other issues that interfere with how you and your partner are able to show love and affection. You may be surprised to learn that many of the difficulties can be addressed and healed.

All couples deserve to have the relationship they are longing for. Although the media often portrays images of relationship breakups and quick ‘move-ons’, we would like to offer a new & hopeful perspective — one that allows you to gain the skills necessary to overcome the normal difficulties that are common in most partnerships, and deepen the love that originally brought you together.

Have you committed an act of kindness to your partner today?

How generous do you feel you are in your relationship?

Do you take your partner for granted or do you find ways to give that are meaningful to him or her?

Please leave a comment and let us know what you think!

If you or anyone you know is struggling in their relationship and are ready to take action towards transforming pain and discomfort into joyful curiosity, please don’t hesitate to contact us. We are here to help.

(Source: “Relationships Last When Both Partners Have These 2 Traits,” Headlines & Global News, November 11, 2014)

Wishing you all the best,

Sue

P.S. Good Life Recovery is a unique membership program to give you direction in creating a meaningful and positive existence in recovery. If you are longing for a life filled with emotional sobriety, surrounded by like-minded people who support you, please join us. Learn more HERE.

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Sue Diamond

Sue Diamond, M.A., is a Registered Clinical Counsellor, as well as Founder and Director of Good Life Therapy Centre in Vancouver, B.C.